In case you haven’t already seen these hilariously cringeworthy graduate videos doing the rounds, I challenge you to make it all the way through them both.
We begin with the Department of Finance and their ‘game changers’:
As for what to make of this flotsam, I couldn’t have said it any better than Rowan Dean:
From 30 min, 21 sec on (starting with Andrew Bolt’s introduction and an excerpt of the video)…
Well Andrew, I urge anyone sitting there this evening or on the weekend who wants a really good belly laugh, forget what’s on the comedy channels or anything else: Google, download this Department of Finance recruitment video. I’ve watched it a couple of times now.
The great thing is that the first couple of times you watch it, you’re rolling in the aisles. It is hilarious. But Andrew, like with all the best jokes, it wears thin pretty quickly and by the third time you watch it, you’re actually seething with anger – because this is the perfect metaphor for everything that is wrong with our government, both Liberal and Labor, in Australia at the moment.
…the fact that it is set in the Department of Finance: says everything. The Department of Finance we get to see looks like the gaudiest, most lavish Saudi Arabian hotel or airport lounge, where these Millenials wonder around in a kind of Stepford Wives daze, clutching on to their paleo, uh, banana bread [in one hand] and a coffee and latte in the other. It’s probably a soy spinach latte in the other. Wondering around, nobody seems to do any work. The speed, the pace, is at a snail’s crawl – as they drift from one meeting room to a sitting area, to another meeting room. And this was filmed, for real, in the Department of Finance using people who work there using their own words, who were probably quite happy to take the day off making their ad – because it was no different from any other day, when they do absolutely nothing apart from wonder around and have paleo bread and talk about the plight of Aborigines. All with our money Andrew!
Not to be outdone, Australia Post said, ‘we see your morons and raise you our idiots’:
Your money. At work.
Reader John has brought my attention to this side splitting shot-by-shot analysis of the DOF video. Here’s a sample:
1:16 Claire and her anonymous colleague have made it to the coffee shop and joined a couple more fellow workers. Does nobody do any work in this place?
They appear to be sharing one slice of paleo banana bread between the four of them. It’s out of Claire’s reach. Somebody will pay for that later.
1:20 Look! There goes Eddie. Claire says hello. Eddie wants nothing to do with her and keeps walking. There’s more exposition by dialogue to be done and stairs to be climbed.
1:30 But beware – things are about to get cornier…
“Hey buddy…” chortles a worker, his lanyard bouncing jauntily.
He’s chortling because he makes the same joke at this time every single day. “Sorry I’ve got to do that every time. It’s because we’re in the buddy program,” he explains to his young colleague, who he appears to be under the impression is a bit slow on the uptake.
She looks at him with barely concealed hatred, as her own Personal Groundhog Day continues to unfold.
1:52 Look! It’s Teena. She’s got coffee too. Because drinking coffee is all they do.
2:01 Teena’s here to interfere with Dane’s mentoring of Jenna, whoever she is.
In a weird breach of good HR practice, Teena wants to talk about Jenna’s future, without Jenna present, and in front of a random member of staff.
Looks like Jenna’s joining the “budget surge” team, whether she likes it or not. Dr Mumbo assumes ambitious Claire will be gutted not to have got that gig.
2:13 Dane gives Jenna the bad news. Jenna pretends to be pleased.
As Molly would say: do yourself a favour and read the whole thing – it’s even funnier than the video itself.
Many thanks to reader John.